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Love the tape deck! Love the black halter and black nails!
I’ve had to cut myself off from listening to anymore Susan Tedeschi today. Love her too but you see I’ve made this playlist of 5 of her songs that talk about being left, lost lover blues, having fallen in love with a sturdy man that she thought would always be there, oh, and the best one for crying is about she can’t reach him because he’s wrapped in the arms of another. OW OW OW OW OW
I know it’s not entirely about me. He’s going through about one of the worst things he could be going through. If I could take that away I would. If I could re-do some of the corporate values that I imagine got him in the awful situation, I would.
A friend told me yesterday, “Beth, you got kicked in the gut. It’s okay to just feel that now. You don’t have to be totally spiritual and accepting. Have your feelings about it.”
There is a program exercise to identify:
“Why is this the best thing that has ever happened to me?”
F***** hell. Oy. Okay might as well. I wasn’t expecting this post to go there.
1) The pain had me reach out to TONS of people and reconnect and be reminded that I’m loved and appreciated.
2) I had a divinely healing experience back on the edge last night, which I will write about separately behind the Silver Curtain. (Oh, and the password issue should be fixed now. Shoot me an email if it still doesn’t work for you. beth@unconditionalserenity.com)
3) The title of this post. Oh my lord, am I feeling those back taxes of relationships that I left immediately and without feeling it at the time. I have SO much gratitude for the ones who made it through and we are still friends. I want to be that brave. E just sent me a Happy Birthday text, for example, and the way I cut him off back then was, now I know, practically unforgiveable. And he forgave me and we’re not the closest of friends but there’s love there that we get to express.
4) Last night FriendHusband was my birthday chauffeur extraordinnaire. At one point in time, the plan was to see Cadillac last night after seeing FriendHusband for an hour or 2 where I probably would have been anxiously awaiting the time I could go get face and body time with Cadillac. Instead, FriendHusband and I had some really sweet rich adventures. One of them, a small but significant one. I returned a due book to the library. I hadn’t finished it but couldn’t renew it. I took a few moments to thumb through it in the car. Oh wow, wouldn’t you know the part I hadn’t read happened to be about grieving the end of relationships. Not the linear total end, that was the interesting thing. It talked about how each phase in the relationship when you get more reality that it’s not perfect, it may not work, it’s not the be all end all, that health is grieving those at the time. Well that’s interesting and I never thought about that. It helped me understand some of the back taxes phenomenon I was talking about paying. Not only were there relationships I jumped ship from without giving them the proper respect, there have also been these losses along the way that I didn’t feel because either we were still ostensibly together, or I didn’t think I “should” feel them or something like that. It also said it’s impossible to grieve the loss of 1 while you’re moving on to another person. Yep, learned that through experience, too. Hope to be more disciplined about that this time around.
5) I’ve been willing to ask for more, for whatever reason. I guess with a cracked open heart and a psychic and emotional place that was vacated by a best friend and lover, there is more willingness on my part to maybe hear No when I ask. And to hear Yes. Example. My roommate asked me this morning if I had any special birthday requests. It culminated in her brushing my hair (one of my favorite treats), French braiding it, and leaving her fabulous essential oils collection in my room to enjoy today. Fun!
There’s more but it’s time to go for now. Thanks again everyone for reading. My critical voice tells me “You just write about yourself. You’re so self-absorbed.” But I know some of the themes are universal. OH! And part of the last night experience that I don’t want to forget is that I consider part of my life’s purpose to be giving people permission to be exactly who they are. That has always been important for me, I just didn’t have words for it until adulthood.
So I pray for today to include myself in that.
I pray that Cadillac travels safely and has a wonderful time.
I pray to engage in my re-exploration (Now behind the Bodily Spiritual Practice header; formerly called Medi) in healthy and conscious ways.
I pray that you know how special you are, and that you express your gifts.
I pray that people get free to be sane and connected and nourished.
I pray that you’ll tell at least one little truth today that you may not otherwise have dared. (Example for me. Morning with Charlie’s Angels included a conversation about my edge play that I had assumed they couldn’t handle. But they did and it was beautiful.)
I pray that you listen to your body well today. Do you need to hydrate? Do you need a hug? Do you need to rest your eyes for a few minutes?
I pray that you welcome every little part of you that wants to speak up.
I’ll leave you with this inspiration from a meditation book.
“One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life.” ~Alexander Bogomoletz
Reminder to future self looking back on this post. I listened to this song 20 times today and I have at least 20 more listens in me. We’re accepting happy music as acceptable obsession material these days. (“Them chickens jackin’ my style.” HA HA Ha ha hahaha)
I wrote a vision statement draft for someone today, and it totally lit me up. I called 5 friends who would get it before I found someone to listen. I cried after I read it and my face burned from all the feeling. Sometimes the hardest thing about life is accepting how dang good it can be.
Tonight on the way to play tennis I ran in to the friend I have mentioned before here who is a Buddhism teacher. He lives in the East Bay now, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him in a SF cafe. I’ve been running in to some “politeness” lately, where I show my love for people by staying out of their hair. So worst case scenario, I would have just walked by and told him about it later. I did text him that I had just walked by the cafe but didn’t want to disturb him. My story was that he was on a date with the hot woman he was sitting there laughing with, and I didn’t want him to “have” to explain how he knew me! (We were roommates at OT.) Turns out, he texted me immediately “Come back!!!” so I did. Also turns out the lady I met with him plays tennis. I got her number to play, as she lives in my area! Also turns out, I announced to them feeling great about the professional writing gig, and she is a professional writer and editor! Woah. Dude.
This may be a disconnected thought, but it’s where my mind was around that time so that’s why I’m stringing them together. I noticed that when I have a craving for sex (or at least that’s how I identify it now…maybe it will change when I put attention on it), I think about my pelvic area. And I was walking through the Castro looking at the sex shops and wondering, when gay men have a craving for sex, do they think about their anal area? If so, is that habit, or is the craving literally arising from there and that area literally needs some sort of attention. I don’t know how controversial this next statement will be for people, but it’s true so I’ll go ahead and say it. I prayed for God to touch me on the inside, and I prayed for God to help me allow God inside of my body. I guess that’s controversial for ME to say it to myself, so that’s why I’m worried what you’ll think. I’m just realizing I spent such a long time thinking it was a toxic waste dump inside of me that I wanted to protect everything and everyone from getting the toxicity on them. I know I’m not the only one, and I’m glad that I finally know I’m not the only one.
The About Face workshop I’m doing this Thursday has half guys in the class so they asked for a masculine focus. Oy. Feeling challenged by that. I don’t know how you boys work well enough to know what to say. It has been extremely powerful to recover alongside guys. Before that, I wouldn’t have guessed that guys ever worried about body image or weight.
I’m working with a new client tomorrow. A friend who I know from spiritual practice who is also a massage therapist. We spoke a couple of months ago about my helping him with finances, and I do recall sharing my “real” story with him, including OneTaste. He booked an appointment for me (that’s tomorrow) to help him with finances and organizing his office. Turns out he took the OT courses since we last spoke! I noticed my first thought was to offer to OM with him. That’s still a primary language, well past it being a primary practice for me. Interesting how that habit got in there. I think I’m used to the old days when there weren’t that many women who knew how to coach strokers. It’s changed since then, I think, and it seems like the evangelical work done by OT has increased the number of OMers, which is awesome. AND I don’t have to do it out of any internal responsibility. For whatever reason, OMing is not something I’ve turned to in the last year. Not sure why. It still makes sense to me. I love it and recommend it. I think conscious touch in all forms in powerful healing work. But the last time I practiced OMing I got 2 hours of sleep that night and it just didn’t feel quite right. I guess that’s just another example of my not having control over things I wish I did. (Item # 4 million on the list!) So, I didn’t at all mention it to him, and I don’t have to mention it tomorrow. I can just be a supportive professional friendly gal with some common interests.
I got another clue to the puzzle of why I’m so weird in person with Cadillac. It’s from a David Richo book, who I’ve been wanting to read for years, and am thrilled to have gotten around to him. Great stuff. “Some people reflect back to us our own Shadow side. We configure others to be “greater than” us, positively by awe, and negatively by dread. Actually, we are fearing the admirable or despicable qualities unintegrated in ourselves.”
Oh.
Told ya it was good.
Add to to-do list: integrate qualities! Stat!
: )
Texas cheerleader suing – didn’t root for attacker
Bob Egelko, Chronicle Staff Writer
San Francisco Chronicle November 5, 2010
If you’re a high school cheerleader, you cheer for the whole team. The stars and the scrubs. The nice guys and the jerks.
But what about a player you’ve accused of raping you?
You’ve got to cheer for him too, according to a federal appeals court, because you’re really speaking for the school and not yourself.
The court dismissed a free-speech suit by a Texas teenager who was kicked off the cheerleading squad for sitting silently, with her arms folded, while her assailant shot free throws in a playoff game.
The former cheerleader and her family are appealing the ruling by the Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans, which includes an order to pay the school district’s legal fees on the grounds their suit was far-fetched and frivolous.
A case that has gripped a small town in southeast Texas also provides a window into the diminishing state of free speech on campus.
More than 40 years after the U.S. Supreme Court declared that neither students nor teachers “shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech … at the schoolhouse gate,” the former cheerleader’s judicial rebuff reflects a shift in perspective that has the courts showing more deference to school authorities.
“What I want out of the whole thing is for somebody to admit they were wrong,” the 18-year-old woman, identifying herself by her initials H.S., said in an interview last week. After undergoing therapy and graduating from high school, she’s taking a semester off before college, where she plans to study forensic science, partly because of what happened to her.
The basketball player has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge, received a suspended sentence, and is making plans for college and “going forward with his life,” his lawyer said. He has denied raping H.S.
Court’s backtracking
The Supreme Court issued what appeared to be a declaration of free-speech rights on campus in 1969, when it allowed high school students to wear black armbands to protest the Vietnam War and said schools could clamp down only if students disrupted the educational process.
The court started to retrench in 1986 with a ruling allowing a high school to censor a student’s sexually suggestive speech at an assembly. Two years later, the court upheld a high school principal’s authority to prohibit articles on pregnancy and divorce from appearing in a student newspaper.
The Constitution does not require a school “to promote particular student speech,” the court said in a ruling that became a precedent for the H.S. case.
In 2007, the justices allowed a school to suspend a student for carrying a banner that read “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” at a school-approved parade near campus, saying the message could be interpreted as promoting drugs.
These days, “student speech is not given the respect it deserves. …There’s a mind-set that school officials are in total control,” said David Hudson, a Vanderbilt University law professor and scholar with the First Amendment Center who has written about the H.S. case.
Incident at party
H.S., then 16, attended a party in her hometown of Silsbee, Texas, in October 2008. She said she was dragged into a room, thrown onto the floor by several youths and raped by Rakheem Bolton, a star on the school’s football and basketball teams.
Bolton and a teammate were arrested two days later, but were allowed to return to school after a county grand jury declined to indict them. They were later indicted on sexual assault charges, but in the interim came the February 2009 incident on the basketball court.
H.S. joined in leading cheers for the Silsbee High team. But when Bolton went to the foul line, and the cheers included his name, she stepped back, folded her arms and sat down.
“I didn’t want to have to say his name, and I didn’t want to cheer for him,” H.S. said. “I didn’t want to encourage anything he was doing.”
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/11/05/MNDQ1G1R78.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz14imYxHww
I’ve had a couple of experiences lately of being in a twosome dynamic where I’m in a role on the opposite end of where I used to be. I don’t know how to say that more clearly so I’ll just give the examples.
When I was living and working in community I had the consistent experience of people wanting to build friendships with me, and me saying either in words or actions that I didn’t have the bandwidth for it. Granted, some of that is my social anxiety that has me hide out from building relationships. But truthfully there were times when I genuinely cared about the person, and just wasn’t willing to make space or didn’t perceive that I could make space to spend downtime with them.
Now that I’m out of residential community, I’m more interested in cultivating those downtime relationships. I’m not always great at it, and I still have the social anxiety, but I at least perceive I have more flexibility in my schedule and more willingness.
So there’s one woman who I absolutely adore who I met at OneTaste. She’s fun, interesting, gets the spiritual/sensual exploration, witty (darkly so sometimes, even better), smart, and has done healing work similar to what I’ve done. For a while after I moved out she and I had a monthly friend date. It was SO great knowing I had that to look forward to. I noticed at the time how relieved I felt to have that agreement with her because we didn’t correspond much in between those times, and I really missed her and felt curious in between hang-outs. I remembered someone who practically begged me to make an agreement like that with them. They said they loved being together and didn’t want to totally lose touch with me, which seemed like would happen unless we had that container. (They were right. It did happen. I don’t even know where they live now.)
So at some point the woman dropped off communication or setting date times with me. I called her a couple of times and played it casual, knowing she’s really busy. Then when I didn’t hear back after weeks I emailed her a couple of times. I started to feel that niggling sense of desperation when you just can’t reach someone at all. The last communication was me telling her point blank it would really help for her to just call or email and say she didn’t want to be my friend, that that would be kinder than not saying anything at all. Total silence.
So it hurt and hurt and hurt. Then she and I passed each other on the street recently. Old friends tease me about my “tight-lipped” look. That’s when I can’t hide my disapproval. So this friend who I love and long for got the tight-lipped treatment. We did a quick hug, then she said she was late for a meeting and ran off. Awkward much?
Weeks went by and I felt like a child for having treated her that way. What, my love comes with the condition of communication? So I emailed her to apologize for having given her the cold shoulder. She responded graciously and took responsibility and said back at the time she just didn’t want to disappoint me any further.
I hope someday I can maintain a wide-open approving space for friends no matter how close or far they are to me.
There was another example but I’ve forgotten it by now. There’s yet another example but I’m not willing to share it for the world. LOL I’ve been reading a book on Ethics and am trying to lie less often, even by omission. An interesting study they quote said that people consider themselves 97% trustworthy and consider their friends and coworkers 75% trustworthy. It expands on that with another study that the liar thinks it’s not a big deal, but the one lied to often disagrees!
Oh, I remembered the other example. Yeh, this one has more juice to it for me so I guess I blocked it out from not wanting to feel it. I’m 85% sure I’m transitioning out of a healing community I’ve been participating in. There is 1 person in particular who has exchanged some heated emails with me about it. I read it that she’s feeling defensive of the group and herself, and it’s a bit of an attachment minefield for me. Keep your distance and I come closer. Come running and screaming towards me and I’ll do the same in the opposite direction. So it’s a tough spot but I want to hang in there and not disconnect.
I have been in her shoes. Being a stalwart in a community can be tough when people can come and go easily. I can draw on that experience now to know it just hurts when someone you care about decides to move on.
AND this is tough spot because I don’t know if I’m moving on out of illusion, or out of sensible growth direction that I just can’t know all the details to now. The bottom line of it is I hope to learn something by doing instead of learning how to not do. I think I know how to not do. I know how to submerge and even dissipate desires. Heck, I’ve been known to convincingly act like people or troubles just don’t exist at all, even if they are arm’s length away from me. Not doing, not the problem. Doing and infusing health and connection and flexibility and intuition….that’s what I want AND what I perceive I need guidance and accountability and patience around. And I don’t know what’s fair to expect around that when addiction is at play. Addiction is in my core. I’m open to it disappearing from my life yet I don’t realistically see that happening. The Big Book of AA defines what we addicts get instead of a”cure”, is “a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition”. So today I hope to reach out for that and let those mysterious (or not) tendrils find me and welcome me in. Maybe I’m wrong to leave this community, but if I stayed now it would be out of fear or to please others or to avoid their disappointment. If I go back, it will be that I know I’m choosing it instead of making a non-choice.
Oh gosh, I need to add the totally separate issue that the curtain rod is still not up and the bed is halfway put together thanks to Cadillac stepping in at the midnight hour. My queendom for a crescent wrench and the continued willingness to ask for help when I genuinely need it. FriendWife and I talked yesterday about different ways we seem to prolong our sense of struggle. Whazzup with that.
And I still need and want to learn Quickbooks. There are 2-day classes for $500, which I will not be doing. So I should add to that intention I need and want to learn Quickbooks AFFORDABLY!
So Much Goodness
‘Bout to burst with it!
I contacted an ex, someone who friend-divorced me when I moved to OT. I emailed him after 5 years of mutual silence and asked if I could have 5 minutes of his time to share with him a way I realized I behaved in our relationship. I was nervous he wasn’t going to write me back. Not only did he, he said he also felt embarrassed at how it had ended, and he looked forward to hearing from me. We had a great, clean 20-minute conversation today. Wow, we’ve both grown a lot and it was a blessing to witness that. My jealousy was outrageously out of control when he and I were dating. If he breathed around a woman I wanted to scratch some eyeballs out, maybe one from each of them. And today we just kind of laughed with some distance and humility, and it was enjoyable to catch each other up on our current careers and partners and how it’s going with everything. **applause** A window re-opened where a door had closed before.
***********
From Julia Cameron’s Money Drunk Money Sober
p 95 “For the way out of poverty addiction, it is very important that we begin to focus on what delights us and let ourselves have a little bit of that. All too often, a recovering poverty addict remains addicted to being sensible. As a result, the new purchases are often as unattractive and unappealing as the old. Poverty addicts need to unhook their sense of virtue from having no money and stop blocking their creativity with worry.”
I am going to buy a bed.
My room with the door open is approximately 84 inches wide.
Standard Queen: 60″ × 80″
Bring it.
Next step: if going the Craig’s List route, find transportation and a helper. If going the store route, find some more money in my spending plan for it.
HoneyG, I also want to publicly acknowledge that your trip to Portugal TOTALLY inspired me to be able to say yes to Hawaii. Thank you for helping me increase my delight!
And Cadillac, thank you for being so fun and for knowing that I would be soothed by talking about our luggage plan in advance. My mom used to pack for trips weeks in advance. Bless her heart, the packed suitcase would be sitting there, just waiting to be shipped out. I think she’d tell you that so I can put it up here. Apple not far from the tree.
********************
So there’s this guy David Wood. solutionbox.com is his website. Really neat kismet led us to reconnect and I had a hunch you might enjoy reading the email exchange. I choose to be out alongside my friends! (Yes, I am the spiritual intelligent woman in his article.) So, the ‘no thinking or analyzing part’ is not in the least true. Those of you who know me know that I would have to be comatose to not analyze something. It leaves out that I had to get to a mental hospital before agreeing to accept western medical treatment for my clinical depression and raging anxiety, but, okay, yes, in the moment of speaking with him I was able to present it in a straightforward way!
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On Wed, Aug 25, 2010 at 11:50 AM, david wood <david@***> wrote:
hi hon
are you not on facebook anymore?
where are you?
just posted this article on facebook – it mentions you
tks
RED PILL OR THE BLUE PILL?
Should you take medicine or not?
Firstly I have to be clear that I am not a Doctor nor a therapist. So you should definitely consult with who you consider to be a qualified professional when making your decision. And – I’d like to offer you some viewpoints that may help you come to the decision that’s right for you.
On one hand – a Doctor friend of mine was begging me to take the medication. He said “that’s what it’s for! Your brain is out of balance, and this can help it come back into balance. Without the medication you can go further off center. Plus, it’s harder for you to take care of yourself while you’re in that state”. And he had a point – sometimes the odd sleeping pill at the right time could stop me going into a spiral which ended in a real anxiety condition. And things WERE getting out of hand…I was miserable, sleeping 20 minutes to 3 hours a night, and spending most long minutes of the day just trying to get by.
But on the other hand, I had a lot of spiritual friends – who believed taking medication was bad. One friend of mine, a recovering alcoholic, said I’d get addicted and should ‘heal naturally’. Another AA member said my psychiatrist was my ‘pusher’ and got really angry at me. Another friend – a Doctor – said my central nervous system needed to be ‘clean’ so I could heal, and that he wouldn’t work with me if I was taking the medication because it would slow my healin.I knew of people who were on drugs for years, some for life, and I wanted to be able to handle this myself. I was worried my spiritual friends would think less of me. In truth, I thought less of me – that taking the pills meant I was weak.
So what to do?
The turning point for me came when a spiritual intelligent woman who I respected mentioned that she was taking medication for depression. I was surprised she would do that and asked her why, to which she replied simply: “I like myself better when I’m taking the pills”. To her it was simple – end of story! She didn’t make a big thing out of it, she didn’t talk about it – she just took her medication like anyone would take supplements and her life was better. No thinking, no agonizing, no judging, just a better life.
As I thought more about it, I realized that I had certain coping skills for a certain amount of stress. I had a certain foundation. I asked myself: “If I took anti-anxiety medication for the next six months, what could I improve about my foundation so that at the end of six months I would be a stronger person and no longer need the assistance of the medication?” And then I answered it: “I can exercise 4-5 times a week, learn meditation, practice yoga, improve my diet, strengthen my support network, get some counseling, and remove the stressors in my life.”
This question and answer was key to my healing. It allowed me to happily (almost) take the medication knowing I had a plan, and I was getting stronger.
And, it worked.
Here’s how I would choose whether or not to take medicine regularly. If I have capacity to push my edge, to feel everything that’s coming up, and my foundation is strong enough to handle it, then I’ll push myself. I’ll handle the lack of sleep, I’ll cry a bunch, I’ll exercise, I’ll journal, and the other coping and healing modalities I’ve learned. But – if this fight feels to big for me and I feel I’m past my edge, I’ll happily take medication for a fixed period of time while I build my foundation and take care of myself.
Beth Crittenden
to david
Hi sweetheart…..great to hear from you!
I pulled myself off of Facebook because I consistently used it for not good but evil. “Compare and despair” as I’ve heard it called is what I would do, and I didn’t like that quality of life. I’d get so jealous and lose my basis of gratitude, which to me feels like a form of death.
I’m living in San Francisco now, specifically in Noe Valley. One of my roommates is a gardener and she hatches butterflies in our living room. It is super sweet!
Thank you so much for sharing what you wrote. That will positively impact a great number of people. Thank you for being “out” about it. : )
It’s also beautiful that you’re writing to me since I recently had a David Wood experience that I hoped to tell you about someday!
I do financial counseling now for individuals and businesses. My friend R has started with a partner a “spiritual publishing company”, and I was helping them put together a plan. We met at her house and your book was sitting on her bed! She said she really liked it. So I got a book for myself, also! : ) Yes, I still need to read it but I know so far I really like the title.
Big hugs and I’m glad to be back in touch with you,
Beth
My blog: unconditionalserenity.com
- Hide quoted text -
(His book I reference is called Get Paid for Who You Are, FYI.)
Thanks for reading.
Thanks to the precious 4 of you who entered your own response in the money poll.
Thanks for having done something that was 100% entirely You today.
Thanks for pulling your head off the pillow and interacting somehow in the world today.
Thanks for being another limbic system to ping and find connection with.
Here is what went right on the Style mission last night. IMHO.
1) We took a few minutes to connect in person before we went in.
2) I was feeling a little sick and a little weak and so my resistance was lower than usual.
3) He wore some of his colors that I associate with him and as soon as I saw them in my peripheral vision I felt comforted.
4) I had given a couple of close friends the heads up about the adventure, knew they were rooting for us, and I could also call them afterwards and cry if I needed to. (Which I didn’t at all, but still nice just in case!)
5) I surrendered to him as driver and me as passenger.
6) I read this passage in a book the day before and realized what I had been doing with him, and that I was 100% prepared to quit doing that.
“There’s a danger with challenges. Some of us might get so used to needing something to push up against and an occasion to rise to that we begin creating drama-addict challenges, the kind that sabotage our relationships, work, and lives.” (Melody Beattie, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact)
7) I wanted to jump him the whole time. Turn-on can be a fabulous painkiller!
8) I realized just over the weekend that Hi-5 reminds me of my very first crush, Han Solo. Once I got in touch with that, many things fell into place inside of me. As I was searching for some visual evidence for you, I happened upon this fabulous video. Han’s head will appear in the sky for a moment, but you should also watch the whole thing because it is genius.
9) I heard back from the professional style consultant after we talked for a while and he sent me his basic proposal. $ 2 , 0 0 0 After that sticker shock, girlfriend was just glad someone was willing to take her on the ride and not charge that much!!
10) He held my clothes. The ones I wanted to try on. The ones I had decided on. My backpack when I was in the fitting room. How tender and considerate is that?! Awww.
11) The look in his eyes when I walked out in the pink shirt and gray skirt. Yeh.
12) He hugged me extra long when we said hello. I love that.
Okay, there’s more good but duty calls.
To celebrate a very fun night, I’m going to boldly post a photograph of me in some of the goods. Enjoy!
And, thanks, honeyo. : )
What can I say, I’m on a roll with animals and love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXo3NFqkaRM
If anyone knows anything about the Noe Valley Merchants’ Association, hit me up. I’d like to get to know my ‘hood and share my professional goodness with them.
I’m experimenting with a new answer to ‘what do you do?’. Still a work in progress, but you heard it here first.
“I help spiritually-motivated people get more clean in some area of their lives. I blend the personal with the practical, and people often feel relief, pride, satisfaction, and joy as a result of our work together.”
Apart from that, can I just say that I feel honored that someone found my humble blog by searching for “tennis player porn”. Cheerio!
