Responsibility. Or, Hold the Opinions.

I am blessed to have surrounded myself with this message lately.
I mean, really, all over the place.

Client A has a mug that says it. R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y I drink Good Earth tea from it. Forming an even more positive association!

Hi-5 talks about the Victim/Accountability loop. Each time he says it to me, it’s a surprise somewhere in my mind. Usually when I first hear it I feel shame. (“Crap. I did it again. I hate it when he sees me being a victim.”) Sometimes I feel anger. (“Oh yeah? Well at least I’M *fill in the blank with a shallow and usually unrelated defense*.”) Most times it’s like the first rays of sunlight in the eyes….yeh, it’s pretty but it sure is bright!

The Storyteller and I have been texting about the topic, as well. A gem from that exchange:
“There are absolutely no enemies.”

I’m reading the 3 Laws of Performance. That could be a Bible of personal responsibility. I really like it. Right after I write about my orgasm, which I still intend to do, I want to write and clear away the “default future” that the fear mind – well, change that around – the fear mind doesn’t trap me in anything, I allow myself to be trapped in it, for whatever reason. And change that around from I want to write about it to I will write about it. (Oh, the book is also big on the power of language. I am inspired.)

Yesterday, talked with FriendWife about why I haven’t fully closed out, in my heart and soul, of my OT time. She encouraged me to spot some places where I could take even one more ounce of responsibility than I have to date.

As I was searching for material on the Victim/Accountable loop, I found these.

This one I chose because it’s British and I like to associate myself with that culture. I thought maybe you’d think I was smarter if I chose a more proper source. They are as proper as it gets!
http://www.ibenrowe.com/?p=97

But the site that I really enjoyed was this one. I love the quotes. I almost left it off of this post because it says Metaphysical and I didn’t want to incite someone to poke at California spirit hippies again. But I’m including it for my own records and delight.
http://www.inlightimes.com/archives/2005/02/accountability.htm

So, to practice, I’ve chosen how much money I earn.
I chose how I had my college experience.
I’ve chosen every person that I’ve dated or slept with, and how long I stayed with them.
I fully chose to step out of mainstream society and integrate very deeply into counterculture.
I fully chose to step out of the counterculture lab and with that came the truth that I don’t know exactly what’s next for me. That I don’t know how far “in” or “out” I’ll choose to go.
I’ve chosen to focus heavily on 12-step work because I like the spiritual connection I get from it and put a higher value on that than anything else.
I’ve chosen to step away from OMing, after 4 years of practicing it.

And I just realized that even saying “I have chosen” isn’t really using language in its strongest sense.

I chose to step away from OMing. It happened already. If I chose to step back towards it, that’s another thing. But the choice is not in progress. I made it already.
I chose to start studying style. Because I haven’t completed the whole thing doesn’t mean that it was a “good” or “bad” choice. The fact is that I did choose that and take steps towards it.

Opinions are extra.

Opinions are the lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise of the burger that is the Choice.