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I do not want to write this.
A meditation group I went to tonight offered these words in prayer: “Thank you for leading us from the unreal to the real.”
Writing this and following it in action will be from the unreal to the real, for me.
(Okay, just write it. Not aiming for perfection. Life is short and sweet. Go.)
***deep breath***
I commit to never again, if it is at all my choice, entering into close dating/romantic relationship without taking the following actions.
I’m writing it now while the heartache is fresh, because when I meet new people I tend to go back to the unreal. Every person seems like it will last forever because they are perfect for me. Every job I like I picture myself doing it when I’m 80. Big feeler, big voids that like to feel filled.
So before I even engage in dating or partnering with someone else (friends do tell me it will happen again, even though it doesn’t at all feel that way now), I will have done these things in order to keep my commitment.
(Whether I want to do them or not. Whether or not I think it is necessary. This is like pre-nup resistance. It’s ugly to acknowledge I might need it. And future self as you read this, do not forget the agony of the last week having been stripped entirely of real connection with him. Remember being alone in the sandbox and not knowing why exactly the other person went away or when or if they would come back. You owe fellow human beings nothing less than this. Yes, you can find some patience and reality to go through with this. And you’ve hurt others even worse than you’ve been hurt for far flimsier reasons, so you’re still a karmic debtor.)
(To be printed and signed by all relevant parties.)
I, Beth Crittenden, attest that I have met all the following criteria in order to move forward with dating _________________, who has also expressed interested in this dating arrangement.
1) I’ve met with a sponsor face to face and talked about it.
_____________________ (sponsor’s signature and date)
2) I’ve met with a member of the Council of 7 face to face and talked about it.
_____________________ (Council of 7 member’s signature and date)
3) I’ve taken the following actions to be getting my sensual needs met so I won’t be reliant entirely upon 1 person so there need not be a rush in that area.
(free text; possible choices are massage, OMing, spa/soak/sauna/mud bath, partner dancing or contact improv, etc.)
4) I recall and acknowledge that I almost always think the person is perfect in the beginning. I remember that for any relationship to get real and develop, I have to let that image go to move more into reality. We will get angry with each other at times. There will be times we don’t necessarily like each other. It will go up and down because we are dynamic human beings.
Here are some REAL things I acknowledge about this person I’m considering partnering with.
(free text, at least 4 things/ 2 “positive” and 2 “negative”)
5) To ensure that I’m not just lonely, here are the actions I’ve taken to connect with my community members who have known me and seen lots of sides of me.
(free text, at least 3 things from last month)
6) Here is MY PERFECT SCENARIO with this person.
(free text; get it all out, honey)
I now attest that I’m willing to let this go and let God take over. When I’ve tried to run things before, I run them into the ground. I surrender to something I won’t always understand but will always be best for me.
7) I agree that if I should decide that the relationship is not working for me and I don’t see that changing and I want to terminate the partnership, I promise to do the following:
*Sit with the person in person to have that discussion. No phone or email. That would be heinous.
*Hear what they request/need/want and get clear on what I can offer along those lines
*Take responsibility for being present to my feelings
*Be as concrete as I can with how I see the unraveling working
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Okay this is kind of tongue in cheek and kind of utopian. Oh, and reactionary. But it’s good to think about so I don’t keep bamboozling myself. Cadillac did give me bits here and there that I wasn’t his Gal For Good, so what this experience has taught me is more about how my denial works. (Bless my heart. “He’ll definitely contact me on my birthday, right?” Turned in to today, “He’ll definitely contact me the day after my birthday, right?” and fairly constantly “Close friend for most of 2009? Hello? There must be a really good reason for the 100% silence, right?”) I honestly don’t know if I’ll have the power to resist it in the future and maybe I’ll get myself back to this same place at some future time. Who knows. I wish this could be humdinger enough to have permanently rung that bell.
I went to birthday dinner with 2 wonderful (male) friends. Both former lovers, both awesome smart attractive guys, both who I tried to wrestle into The One briefly but it just became obvious that we are meant to be special friends. It’s been years now! Wow, how great is that.
Anyway, one of them was quizzing me about what I meant by I wanted to pass for normal by dating Cadillac. Feel Less and Think Less definitely seems like they woulda shoulda coulda made things simpler. My friend’s metaphor is a tool called the Feeler Gauge. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feeler_gauge) He said some feeler gauges have 1000′s of teeth and they pick up ALOT of information. Other feeler gauges have more like 100′s of teeth and they don’t pick up as much. So it’s not a case of normal or not normal, but a case of just how many spines are on our feeler gauge.
My dungeon friend, who is a very very wise healer, turned me on to a whole other angle to the situation. She said if I was that drawn to this person, he must have lots of attractive things about him. (Yes! He is wonderful! I love him! Oh, we’ve established that.) She said if that was the case for me, it’s probably the case that lots of other people feel drawn to him too, and that must make it hard for him to work his stuff out. (Oh. Right. Didn’t think of that. Just want my love to be the best and most welcome.) So I remembered the juncture when I really just could have built a friendship with him, and let the physical stuff come later or maybe even not, and now I wish I would have been more patient around that. Water under the bridge by now, but that was helpful and I do feel a little chagrined about it. I’ve been given gifts of insight that I didn’t use with him at all because I willingly let my God-dar (God Radar) be totally foggy and jammed by lust and possessiveness.
***********************
Those of you who follow me on Twitter (@bethcrittenden) may have seen that I accepted a part-time gig today that I am thrilled about!
It’s at Matchesthatmatter.com
More to come, but there is a really beautiful flow happening there and I sense I’ll be able to equally contribute and learn there. Very excited.
I remember at OneTaste one of the residents who came through had her own business. I didn’t even really know what that meant, and I just didn’t understand how she could have no office. What? I remember being interested in that freedom and flexibility and thinking, “I could never do that”.
: ) )
**************
If you are of the advice-giving type, would you kindly let me know your thoughts about this first draft of my financial coaching website?
http://unconditionalfinancialserenity.wordpress.com/
(Sorry, not sure why the link function is not working on this post.)
What I’d love to hear feedback on is:
-is it clear what I’m offering?
-does it cover the relevant pain points?
-is the call to action clear for how someone would work with me?
-what else would feel more inspiring to read about?
I’ve just been having such a great time with my existing clients and getting phenomenal feedback from them. I haven’t yet transmitted that through the site so I’m asking for help with my blind spots.
Love the tape deck! Love the black halter and black nails!
I’ve had to cut myself off from listening to anymore Susan Tedeschi today. Love her too but you see I’ve made this playlist of 5 of her songs that talk about being left, lost lover blues, having fallen in love with a sturdy man that she thought would always be there, oh, and the best one for crying is about she can’t reach him because he’s wrapped in the arms of another. OW OW OW OW OW
I know it’s not entirely about me. He’s going through about one of the worst things he could be going through. If I could take that away I would. If I could re-do some of the corporate values that I imagine got him in the awful situation, I would.
A friend told me yesterday, “Beth, you got kicked in the gut. It’s okay to just feel that now. You don’t have to be totally spiritual and accepting. Have your feelings about it.”
There is a program exercise to identify:
“Why is this the best thing that has ever happened to me?”
F***** hell. Oy. Okay might as well. I wasn’t expecting this post to go there.
1) The pain had me reach out to TONS of people and reconnect and be reminded that I’m loved and appreciated.
2) I had a divinely healing experience back on the edge last night, which I will write about separately behind the Silver Curtain. (Oh, and the password issue should be fixed now. Shoot me an email if it still doesn’t work for you. beth@unconditionalserenity.com)
3) The title of this post. Oh my lord, am I feeling those back taxes of relationships that I left immediately and without feeling it at the time. I have SO much gratitude for the ones who made it through and we are still friends. I want to be that brave. E just sent me a Happy Birthday text, for example, and the way I cut him off back then was, now I know, practically unforgiveable. And he forgave me and we’re not the closest of friends but there’s love there that we get to express.
4) Last night FriendHusband was my birthday chauffeur extraordinnaire. At one point in time, the plan was to see Cadillac last night after seeing FriendHusband for an hour or 2 where I probably would have been anxiously awaiting the time I could go get face and body time with Cadillac. Instead, FriendHusband and I had some really sweet rich adventures. One of them, a small but significant one. I returned a due book to the library. I hadn’t finished it but couldn’t renew it. I took a few moments to thumb through it in the car. Oh wow, wouldn’t you know the part I hadn’t read happened to be about grieving the end of relationships. Not the linear total end, that was the interesting thing. It talked about how each phase in the relationship when you get more reality that it’s not perfect, it may not work, it’s not the be all end all, that health is grieving those at the time. Well that’s interesting and I never thought about that. It helped me understand some of the back taxes phenomenon I was talking about paying. Not only were there relationships I jumped ship from without giving them the proper respect, there have also been these losses along the way that I didn’t feel because either we were still ostensibly together, or I didn’t think I “should” feel them or something like that. It also said it’s impossible to grieve the loss of 1 while you’re moving on to another person. Yep, learned that through experience, too. Hope to be more disciplined about that this time around.
5) I’ve been willing to ask for more, for whatever reason. I guess with a cracked open heart and a psychic and emotional place that was vacated by a best friend and lover, there is more willingness on my part to maybe hear No when I ask. And to hear Yes. Example. My roommate asked me this morning if I had any special birthday requests. It culminated in her brushing my hair (one of my favorite treats), French braiding it, and leaving her fabulous essential oils collection in my room to enjoy today. Fun!
There’s more but it’s time to go for now. Thanks again everyone for reading. My critical voice tells me “You just write about yourself. You’re so self-absorbed.” But I know some of the themes are universal. OH! And part of the last night experience that I don’t want to forget is that I consider part of my life’s purpose to be giving people permission to be exactly who they are. That has always been important for me, I just didn’t have words for it until adulthood.
So I pray for today to include myself in that.
I pray that Cadillac travels safely and has a wonderful time.
I pray to engage in my re-exploration (Now behind the Bodily Spiritual Practice header; formerly called Medi) in healthy and conscious ways.
I pray that you know how special you are, and that you express your gifts.
I pray that people get free to be sane and connected and nourished.
I pray that you’ll tell at least one little truth today that you may not otherwise have dared. (Example for me. Morning with Charlie’s Angels included a conversation about my edge play that I had assumed they couldn’t handle. But they did and it was beautiful.)
I pray that you listen to your body well today. Do you need to hydrate? Do you need a hug? Do you need to rest your eyes for a few minutes?
I pray that you welcome every little part of you that wants to speak up.
I’ll leave you with this inspiration from a meditation book.
“One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life.” ~Alexander Bogomoletz
My Darling,
It’s hailing, thundering, and lightning right now in San Francisco. It’s the first time in 11 years you’ve seen them all at once and just the third time of seeing any of them individually in that whole time. When people ask you if you miss the East Coast, you tell them a thing you miss a lot is watching thunderstorms from the porch. You saw a bright beautiful rainbow from your back porch this morning while you were eating a quiet breakfast.
Your relational life shifted a whole, whole lot today. Well, it had been going that direction but the deep punctuation came today. It’s kind of like that part of you that was suffering was an animal with a compound fracture and it got a mercy killing today. You send him with love and you’re doing the thing you didn’t know if you’d be able to do. And importantly, you reached out for positive healthy appropriate support when the news you didn’t want to hear came through. That’s how lasting healthy changes start….just one little action. You’re also on the receiving end of a version of the disappearing act you pulled on so many men before. Karma, my love…sometimes you put it out there and it boomerangs back to you. Oh, and don’t forget you did that to your family, too, for a while; oh yeah. Sometimes it’s the human way. Sometimes it’s the best we can do to head for the hills. You even pushed him away a lot in the beginning and you’re doing a great job of remembering that now. Bless you, Karma, for keeping nature in balance.
How perfect is it that you are on a juicy Step 2 revisitation right now? You’ve been getting so much insight from working this step lately. Some of the AA literature is now planted in your mind and you’ve been able to call on it now, specifically this passage:
“The girl we wanted to marry had other notions; we prayed God that she’d change her mind, but she didn’t. We prayed for healthy children, and were presented with sick ones, or none at all. We prayed for promotions at business, and none came. Loved ones, upon whom we heartily depended, were taken from us by so-called acts of God. Then we became drunkards, and asked God to stop that. But nothing happened. This was the unkindest cut of all. ‘Damn this faith business!’ we said.”
But you haven’t damned it this time around. You know it’s for the best. You know that you’re held and safe and protected in the Flow. You caught it that sometimes when you’re out of acceptance with something, that you’re thinking God perhaps made a mistake and you’re waiting for it to be corrected, and promptly. With restitution. Not this time around, my love. Good catch, though!
You’ve grown tremendously recently by writing on the following exercise, and then sharing it with others.
“Write what he actually said. Then write what it feels like he said.”
You have felt the listeners cringe and be kind of mortified at how your mind talks to you. You are not the weak creampuff your mind tells you that you are. You’ve coped with an abuser that happens to live between your ears and you are doing the work to turn even that over. And you know that everything inside of you wants SOMETHING to live, and that part of your work is to choose what things should be fed and get to survive and grow.
You reached a turning point of a crapton of personal work this week, actually just 2 days ago. You noticed in his absence still wanting something from him, which you rationally and evidentially knew he was not able to or willing to provide. You wrote it out to yourself, what you wanted to hear. You finally got it what other people have said about your projecting your own superego into the seeming voice of other people. WOW, what a breakthrough! (No, I’m not being sarcastic. That’s a huge deal.)
4 people you hold dearly in your heart had their positions eliminated this past week, 3 of them seemingly entirely out of the blue. F O U R. That’s a lot of loss. You knew it was “out there” but it hadn’t hit so deeply home for you until this. They are all dealing with it differently, and what a gift to be able to hear what at least 2 of them are going through around it. You remember seeing the book title when you were a little kid, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” and you couldn’t understand for years why bad things would ever happen to good people (and you somehow internalized that if something bad happened then YOU were bad….maybe you should read more than the title of that book!)
You wondered if Agent could be a good job for a Projector (from Human Design). The fabulous experience with that was completing the marketing letters for the children’s book illustrator. AS YOU WERE WALKING TO MAIL THEM, a friend you hadn’t heard from in months happened to call you. When you told the friend what you were up to in that moment, he said, “I’ve written a children’s book, and have been looking for an illustrator! Would you put us in touch?” Wow wow wow wow wow
You had a wonderful experience yesterday babysitting 3 little girls, 6, 5, and 2 years old. When you were playing the White Winged Dove of Peace Queen game with one of them, you asked her if she would share with you her magical powers and give you the ability to use them on other people. She thought about it, and then carefully said,
“No, I can’t do that. When you give your power away, then you only have half a heart. If you were able to find one of those people with 2 hearts who could give you an extra one, then I’d consider it. Otherwise, I need to keep all my heart so I have power to help other people.“
You heard a great share of someone’s early recovery and what helped them. Before she did the addictive thing that she couldn’t stop, she would take at least 1 healthy action. So even though she was acting out, she was building the muscle of taking healthy action. Nice!
You had your first directly professional writing experience this week, which felt wonderful.
You remembered and got solace from the program axiom,
“I don’t have to like it to accept it.“
Your birthday is on Monday. You are going to work your damndest to not focus on what you DON’T have and instead focus on the gratitude of what you do:
-loving friends
-spiritual practices across a wide range that you can do any time
-willingness and ability to sit with feelings
-people who read what you write on this thing (thank you thank you thank you, readers!!!!!!!! you’ve already given me my gift, to be seen!)
-physical health
-renewed love of tennis and motion
-mended relationships with family that feel wonderful
-business and clients that have come your way with ease
-interesting future business partners in a range of fields
-active volunteer position that directly impacts an issue of large significance to you
-massage trade partners
-people to be “real” with
-a home in your favorite city
-and most importantly, connection to spiritual guidance
Bless you at all ages.
You are loved, and wonderful, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Texas cheerleader suing – didn’t root for attacker
Bob Egelko, Chronicle Staff Writer
San Francisco Chronicle November 5, 2010
If you’re a high school cheerleader, you cheer for the whole team. The stars and the scrubs. The nice guys and the jerks.
But what about a player you’ve accused of raping you?
You’ve got to cheer for him too, according to a federal appeals court, because you’re really speaking for the school and not yourself.
The court dismissed a free-speech suit by a Texas teenager who was kicked off the cheerleading squad for sitting silently, with her arms folded, while her assailant shot free throws in a playoff game.
The former cheerleader and her family are appealing the ruling by the Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans, which includes an order to pay the school district’s legal fees on the grounds their suit was far-fetched and frivolous.
A case that has gripped a small town in southeast Texas also provides a window into the diminishing state of free speech on campus.
More than 40 years after the U.S. Supreme Court declared that neither students nor teachers “shed their constitutional rights to freedom of speech … at the schoolhouse gate,” the former cheerleader’s judicial rebuff reflects a shift in perspective that has the courts showing more deference to school authorities.
“What I want out of the whole thing is for somebody to admit they were wrong,” the 18-year-old woman, identifying herself by her initials H.S., said in an interview last week. After undergoing therapy and graduating from high school, she’s taking a semester off before college, where she plans to study forensic science, partly because of what happened to her.
The basketball player has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge, received a suspended sentence, and is making plans for college and “going forward with his life,” his lawyer said. He has denied raping H.S.
Court’s backtracking
The Supreme Court issued what appeared to be a declaration of free-speech rights on campus in 1969, when it allowed high school students to wear black armbands to protest the Vietnam War and said schools could clamp down only if students disrupted the educational process.
The court started to retrench in 1986 with a ruling allowing a high school to censor a student’s sexually suggestive speech at an assembly. Two years later, the court upheld a high school principal’s authority to prohibit articles on pregnancy and divorce from appearing in a student newspaper.
The Constitution does not require a school “to promote particular student speech,” the court said in a ruling that became a precedent for the H.S. case.
In 2007, the justices allowed a school to suspend a student for carrying a banner that read “Bong Hits 4 Jesus” at a school-approved parade near campus, saying the message could be interpreted as promoting drugs.
These days, “student speech is not given the respect it deserves. …There’s a mind-set that school officials are in total control,” said David Hudson, a Vanderbilt University law professor and scholar with the First Amendment Center who has written about the H.S. case.
Incident at party
H.S., then 16, attended a party in her hometown of Silsbee, Texas, in October 2008. She said she was dragged into a room, thrown onto the floor by several youths and raped by Rakheem Bolton, a star on the school’s football and basketball teams.
Bolton and a teammate were arrested two days later, but were allowed to return to school after a county grand jury declined to indict them. They were later indicted on sexual assault charges, but in the interim came the February 2009 incident on the basketball court.
H.S. joined in leading cheers for the Silsbee High team. But when Bolton went to the foul line, and the cheers included his name, she stepped back, folded her arms and sat down.
“I didn’t want to have to say his name, and I didn’t want to cheer for him,” H.S. said. “I didn’t want to encourage anything he was doing.”
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/11/05/MNDQ1G1R78.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz14imYxHww
Okay, Girlfriend, you got me again.
I am no match for you.
You killed off another one of my 9 kitty lives.
For those of you who haven’t met Girlfriend, here’s her MO:
*I saw long ago that loving him wouldn’t be enough on its own. She doesn’t care about that; she just pushes harder and tries to do ‘better’.
*She sees it as failure that we’re not able to be more like him. Then it seems like that’s what he asked for somewhere along the line, even though his words never matched that.
*If he responds ‘too quickly’ to a text or email, then she thinks he’s callous and didn’t care enough to put a good amount of thought into the reply. If he responds ‘too slowly’, then she thinks it’s evidence that he really doesn’t care after all, and that everything else in that time is insultingly higher priority than us.
*She keeps a database of some of his expressed dislikes, a TON of his dislikes that she has interpreted between the lines, and is ever vigilant to only invoke him experiencing them when she perceives it’s needed for attention or reinforcement. <<A great saying I heard in a meeting recently: “Just read the black parts.” Meaning, don’t try to read the white space between the lines.>>
*She does want to go out of control. And she hates him that we feel out of control about and around him.
*She wants credit for being loving and approving on the inside, and gets impatient when there’s the need to translate that into demonstrated action. She takes that as a sign that he’s saying we’re not enough for him and not doing it right. (Not Doing It Right and Losing are her cardinal sins.)
*She longs for his desire and approval like it’s life-saving medication. If she’s not getting it, she will go to any length to extort it.
*If the whole world isn’t 100% clear about his devotion to and care for us, she thinks he’s failing and mean.
*When she “loves” him, anyone else could see it closely resembles attempted possession and manipulation. She thinks they’re dumb and uninspired, and tries harder to “love”.
*She refuses to take her attention off of him for an instant. No matter if he is physically present or not. She fears that putting her attention on anything else will increase the likelihood of him disappearing and/or losing interest. Tabs must be kept to continue the game. The ante for this game is constant attention. Then he starts to seem high maintenance and demanding through reflection of what Girlfriend thinks.
*She hates anyone for having a need that might make the other uncomfortable. If she could take away all the needs in the world, she would. Don’t even get me started on her stance on desire.
*When he asks a question, she hears veiled judgment and implied directives.
If it were possible to have personality cancer, I think this aspect of my being would qualify.
When I was in the 8th grade, a tough little girl didn’t like a sarcastic remark I made in the locker room. She walked behind where I was sitting, put her hands around my neck, and kept squeezing. And kept squeezing. Her hands were strong, sharp, and her focus on choking me was impeccable.
Girlfriend does that to me.
And then those brave enough to play here get the collateral damage.
Girlfriend has really taken me down again lately. Back to depression, the worst in a while. She likes NOTHING about me. I think she intends to be supportive of my happiness, but it’s highly conditional and she doesn’t feel inclined to ensure that I’m happy in the process of interacting with her.
She threatens my survival in that she yells in my ear when I’m trying to get clear about how I’ll earn more income, how I’ll present myself career-wise. She truly doesn’t give a rat’s butt about anything but trying to keep Him. Emphasis on Keep. She’s a killer. She sees it as victory if she kills her prey….hey, she kept him, right?
I was fortunate enough today to spend time in the company of 2 beautiful generous women. They helped remind me of my inherent value as a woman, regardless of what poison Girlfriend has been leaking in my ear.
They held me. They helped move my energy from my dry overworked head, down into my beautiful empty body. I cuddled with one of them and cried on her chest for almost an hour.
Girlfriend goes through life expecting to be dumped, rejected, left behind, taken for granted, underestimated, used and abused. She expects this before she even meets you.
One of my healing angels from today has 2 cute little dogs. As you know, I love ‘dem puppies. The reminder today was exquisite. She said, “Isn’t it great how they go through life just EXPECTING to be loved? Everyone they approach, they’re ready to love them and be loved.”
The question I asked Google is “How did Peter Pan end?”
Wikipedia describes Peter Pan’s personality as:
“Peter is mainly an exaggerated stereotype of a boastful and careless boy. He is quick to point out how great he is, even when such claims are questionable (such as when he congratulates himself for Wendy’s successful reattachment of his shadow).
Peter has a nonchalant, devil-may-care attitude, and is fearlessly cocky when it comes to putting himself in danger. Barrie writes that when Peter thought he was going to die on Marooner’s Rock, he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blissful unawareness of the tragedy of death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.
In some variations of the story and some spin-offs, Peter can also be quite nasty and selfish. In the Disney adaptation of the tale, Peter appears very judgmental and pompous (for example, he called the Lost Boys ‘blockheads’ and when the Darling children say that they should leave for home at once, he gets the wrong message and angrily assumes that they want to grow up).
In the 2003 live-action film, Peter Pan is sensitive about the subject of “growing up”. When confronted by Hook about Wendy growing up, marrying and eventually “shutting the window” on Peter, he becomes very depressed and finally loses the will to fight.”
Okay so I’m getting it why people go to business school. Why they go to law school. Why they work a fulltime job that may feel soul-sucking and they may complain about it, yet they do it every day.
I’m looking for the gray. Having let go of the shore of party-party-fun-fun-assume-someone-else-will-always-take-care-of-me, I drifted for a few days in oh-I-guess-it-does-have-to-suck-and-I-have-to-pretend-it-doesn’t. There is something else, right? And I can find the gray beautiful, right?
I guess you have to admit to being lost before you can let yourself feel found.
Dan Miller is inspiring the heck out of me with his podcast 48 Days. Yay Dan Miller. He comes to us from what he calls his Sanctuary in Tennessee. It’s so wholesome to listen to him. He loves apples. I mean he is really passionate about an apple a day in some form. Dan’s in the gray and he finds it beautiful.
You have perhaps heard of Revenue Producing Activities (RPA)?
I’m thinking today of Joy Producing Activities (JPA).
Lots of research today on getting good conscious touch. Hop on over to the new Touch page (see above if you are in the blog, and if you’re getting this as an email, check it out here http://wp.me/PEv4w-82).
Anyone want to check out a Biodanza class with me? : )
Today my JPAs were
*speaking in front of a large group of friends about my JPA
*breakfast at The Grind in the Haight with friends. Omelette with spinach bacon and avocado (nom nom nom)
*revisiting a very significant meeting place….my first one ever, actually
*Warm sunny North Berkeley hanging out with a good friend. We had directly from her garden: strawberries, plums, kale, blackberries, cucumber.
*She also cooked for me from the Cafe Gratitude cookbook.
*Recovery talent show where I heard some amazing musicians and also was in a silly skit.
Go forth and be joyful!
